Feeling okay..............

This title thing is weird.........like I can't always think of a title every time..........oh, well. Things went ok this weekend, I guess. Ben didn't get home until like 7 last night. We talked on his cell phone all of yesterday, though, and argued the whole time. Sometimes I feel like I just don't say the right words to him, I mean something and he thinks I mean something totally different. Like for instance, he thinks going to strip clubs is not cheating. For obvious reasons, I feel differently. And then he got angry at me because he thought I meant it was okay for women to go to them but not men. And that is not what I meant, I don't agree with anyone going to them, I think it is a form of cheating no matter who you are. Finally I got him to understand what I meant but it was like, geez. Communication block from hell. Okay, well, I am going on vacation on Wed, Thurs., Fri. Going to Lancaster. Hope it turns out okay. I am going to be meeting Ben's old friends.............kind of upset that I am fat........and not where I was weight wise this time last year......I just wish most of all that I didn't feel like a failure............why, why, oh why can't I be thin? I wish I could control my weight so my appearance would make me happy and proud! Having a writer's block of some sort tonight, I will try to write tomorrow.